It’s a morning like any other, yet not quite like any other. For one thing there are a few less leaves on the wisteria. Grammatically speaking, that should be ‘a few fewer’, but I’m sure you’ll agree that’s not a good sound. Even ‘a couple fewer’ sounds clumsy … yet another example of ‘right’ being ‘wrong’.
Anyway – not as many leaves, so a little more sun on the verandah.
I’m holding the writing surface at an angle so the texture of the paper is revealed, and interesting shadows are being cast by the pen as I write. Quite fascinating really. The surface of the pen is also catching the light and casting a reflective arc ahead of the pen. Sharp. Delicate. What I write doesn’t seem important because the process itself is mesmerising.
Ah yes … process. We Scanners* are in love with process. But you know, Ive grown just a little bit tired of process. Just once in a while I’d like to arrive. At what point does ‘exploring’ become just blundering around?
I’ve done more than my share of that in my life – aimlessly wandering, always looking for ‘something more’, occasionally thinking I’ve found it, but the thing found is not nearly so interesting as the thing sought.
“You need to focus on the present moment,” I’m told. Good advice, I suppose. Except that maybe I do too much of that already. I’m doing it now … enjoying the morning mid-winter light at play on the verandah – tripping lightly along cobweb strands linking a serviette box to who-knows-where (for the other end is lost in shadow).
Earlier I wrote a haiku. (Mary Gray** would be pleased.)
morning light magic
caresses brown grasshopper
(Not the greatest haiku ever written, I know, but hey – we’re in ‘present moment’ mode remember, where judgement is suspended.)
In truth, I don’t think the grasshopper is munching. At least, there are no munch traces, and I suspect these particular leaves are too tough (but who knows what a desperate drought-driven grasshopper might eat!). It’s possible, I suppose, that the grasshopper is just basking in the sun like me and the cat.
Back to the present moment …
mingle of birdsong
cacophony of not-too-distant cars
new neighbours’ voices
giggles of children
and everywhere this dancing light.
So you see, I don’t neglect the present moment. And the moment is nice while it lasts. Afterwards, though, there are still the bills to be paid, family problems to be dealt with, long neglected artwork calling for attention, after the enlightenment the dishwashing – or something like that.
Hmm, it’s much easier to return to the present moment …………………
I have to hold the paper at a different angle now to recreate those light effects.
* I’m currently reading a book called ‘Refuse to Choose’ by Barbara Sher. ‘Scanner’ is her term for what Margaret Lobenstine calls ‘Renaissance Soul’, which overlaps with ‘Enneagram 7’.
** Mary Gray conducts an excellent online haiku course